“I am Giving up” by Michael – 12.4.21


Entry Submitted by Michael at 9:17 AM EST on December 4, 2021

Two years ago, a friend of mine told me about the zim. She said a shaman gave them to her. I did a meditation on them and came with a heartfelt YES to purchasing a few. Since then, I have been reading and following all the intel about this war and the QFS like a hawk. It’s almost consumed my life. 

During the pandemic ( insert L), I lost my career as a musician as I was playing to over 50 nursing homes. I then moved to a beach town where the restrictions around the virus were less. I lost the daily contact with my adult kids and started life new. In the back of my mind, I was thinking I would get a notification of this RV at some point then be able to move back north. I got excited, waited and waited and waited. 

Since then, I have been through 3 jobs, that I can’t seem to keep. These have been manual labor jobs because it seems like the professional jobs are gone. I cashed in my silver I bought to pay rent. And as of today, I am jobless and completely surrendering. I live day to day.

I am giving up waiting, following these endless stories and holding my breath. I am and must plant seeds into this soil here now and make something grow. I cant keep living hoping that something changes what is here. Its too tiring. 

In surrender I give up the idea of meeting my kids with a big smile and sensing they are proud of me. Instead, I allow them to see the real me, raw, no costume and maybe weak ,but that I am making life out of what is here. 

I am giving up thinking that life on the other side of an RV is different. A tree in the forest resting up along my spine in stillness still will be the same always. 

I give up watching and hoping. This is my life and my power, peace awaits as I let go. 



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